Husband's Girl Best Friend Insists On Hosting His Wife's Baby Shower, Among Other Unsolicited Advice and Comments About Her Pregnancy

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 13, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Girl best friends can be great for our partners—until they go all Baby-Zilla for your baby shower.

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  • Baby showers can be such a fun, glamorous, and meaningful experience for any mother-to-be. Immense planning goes into the venue (if not your backyard), cake, balloons, menu, and many other facets, if you want it to be grandiose. After all, it's a celebration of life! However, there's nothing wrong with an intimate gathering and that is often preferred. Usually, the mother-to-be's mother or sister plans the event, most specifically because they are often the closest women to you in your life. Your husband's girl best friend, for example, should not feel entitled to your baby shower or your pregnancy.

    The mother-to-be in this story has known her husband's girl best friend for quite a while, yet since she's gotten pregnant the girl has been reaching out to the husband daily regarding her pregnancy. This “advice” quickly turned into talking about his wife more than the baby, including jabs at her eating habits. The icing on the baby shower cake: the girl best friend insisted not once, but two times, that she host the mother-to-be's baby shower. Fed up, the mother-to-be airs her out.

  • 01
    AITA for telling my husband's girl best friend she can't host my baby shower?
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 02
    I (22f) and my husband (23m) got married young, I was eighteen, he was nineteen. Both of us knew we always wanted to get married and start a family young. I started college two years ago, and he just graduated with a Bachelor of Biomedical Science. My husband has a girl best friend (23f), who i'll call Sam, who he
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 03
    met in College, both of them grew up Baptist, and while he's left the church, they had a very similar childhood and bonded quite quickly. Despite what you may be thinking her and I got along really well. She and I liked the same music and we were both studying in relatively the same fields so she became a friend of mine as well.
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 04
    Since I found out I was pregnant though, some issues have started to arise. We announced our pregnancy on social media after we told our parents. Sam texted my husband a congrats text and then told him to pass on her well wishes to me. She's been texting him nonstop with baby advice and what she likes to call "advice for mama" which includes
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 05
    for mama" which includes sometimes relatively targeted jabs at what I should eat. Honestly i kept brushing the texts off, but it got a point where the conversations were less about the baby and more about me which I was getting increasingly
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 06
    uncomfortable with because she wasn't texting me she was texting my husband. My husband acknowledged this and has just started to show them to me and ask what I want him to do. I just told him to ignore them.
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 07
    When i announced I was having a baby shower and sent out the invites, I recieved a text from Sam. She said something along the lines of wanting to host my baby shower and set it up. I told her politely that my mom was planning on hosting it with the help of my sister and that it was a
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 08
    special moment for them and I wouldn't want to take that away. Well Sam ignored that message, because the next day, she came over and insisted we start working out arrangements for the venue.
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 09
    I told her once again, my mom and sister were hosting it and she told me that she should take her advice and let her plan it because she'd ensure that the baby shower would be better if she planned it particularly because she'd be working on the menu.
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 10
    Whether it was pregnancy hormones or just bottled up rage, i told her that the jabs she'd been making at me behind my back about my diet during this pregnancy to my husband are really annoying at that no she cannot host this shower and from now on her unsolicited advice was not appreciated especially if she can't say it to my face.
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 11
    That night my husband's phone blew up with messages from Sam saying that he had no right to show her those messages and they were just supposed to just be health tips because Sam was studying nutritional science and only wanted to help her best friend and ensure a happy baby and life.
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 12
    Honestly i don't know. I know she had somewhat good intentions and she's been a good friend to my husband and to me so AITA?
    via PollutionPrior2939
  • 13
    ducksmcquackers • 8h ago Part ipant [1] NTA. Sam overstepped massively, to the point where it's clear she has more than platonic feelings for your husband. If Sam was truly your friend she would: • Text you directly. • Listen to you.
    via ducksmcquackers
  • 14
    • Understand that advice doesn't have to be taken. • Not make this about her. • Not be upset when you get shown the advice that should be meant for you.
    via ducksmcquackers
  • 15
    It's clear Sam doesn't understand that there needs to be boundaries in the friendship. You and your husband have to be firm about what those boundaries are. This can't be a you thing or a him thing, you both have to be united in this.
    via ducksmcquackers
  • 16
    TeenySod 8h ago • Certified Proctologist [27] NTA, your instincts are right on this one. If the two of you got along so well, why wasn't Sam texting you directly with all her "helpful" advice? This woman sounds like she is trying to insert herself between you and your husband in a really nasty manipulative way. I think you need to have a serious discussion with your husband about boundaries. What did husband say after his phone blew up?
    via TeenySod
  • 17
    . Mother_to3 · 8h ago Your husband had "no right" to show you those messages??? I assume Sam isn't married. Healthy relationships don't have secrets. You are NTA. He needs to cut her off.
    via Mother_to3
  • 18
    InfamousCup7097 · 8h ago. You know what's bad for the baby....stress, and she's adding to it. Your husband needs to set boundaries with his "friend" now before he starts looking like an AH. When the baby comes, neither of you will have time to entertain a third party because you'll be exhausted. She sounds borderline crazy. Make sure she doesn't try to hurt you and keep her far away from the baby.
    via InfamousCup7097
  • 19
    Mscatw 8h ago Enthusiast [5] NTA- but her and your husband are. Why is he allowing another female to put you in a place of discomfort? Maybe I'm just spoiled by a loving and protective husband. But there's no way he'd allow anyone to do this to me. And he would tell anyone quickly that there are no secrets and there is no disrespecting me. Just like I am for him
    via Mscatw
  • 20
    According Today116 · 8h ago Anytime someone says you have no right to share texts with your spouse you've got a problem. Now that you're pregnant she's trying to jump into your marriage with both feet. Your husband needs to reevaluate this relationship with Sam.
    via According_Today116
  • 21
    blackwillow-99 Part ipant [1] • 8h ago NTA but at what point is boundaries set? Husbands need to let Sam know he is gonna take a step back because her behavior is unacceptable. She is not acting rationally and trying to insist to throw something is the final straw.
    via blackwillow-99
  • 22
    pgsmom • 8h ago NTA. She's definitely overstepping. Boundaries need to be set. The fact that she thinks your husband somehow betrayed her by showing you (his WIFE) texts she's sending is strange. She needs to know her place. Your husband needs to set clear boundaries. She's a friend, not a third person in your marriage.
    via pgsmom
  • 23
    External_E... • • 8h ago Edited 7h ago Sam is a creep and is not your friend. She could have connected with your mother and sister to see if she could help. She could have coordinated the cake, flowers and game or whatever.... Or she could have set up a separate brunch to celebrate on a different day.
    via External_Expert_2069
  • 24
    Instead she feels like she can step in and dictate when this has nothing to do with her. Why does she feel it's appropriate for her to have secrets with your husband? She is the one that has no right lolol
    via External_Expert_2069
  • 25
    Sit down with your husband and have a real conversation about this and how the two of you should handle her moving forward. I know it's hard being pregnant with all the big emotions, but go into the conversation with how stressful and uncomfortable this has been. Also, put it in perspective, if you had a male friend that was displaying this kind of behavior how would he want you handle this?
    via External_Expert_2069

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relationship advice family drama aita baby pregnancy relationship-drama reddit story relationships husband advice entitled family pregnant baby shower Reddit girl best friends entitled people
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